FAMILY FIRST

FAMILY FIRST

How do one say thank you to the people who means the world to you, who knows everything about you, who knows in what type of mood you are in by just looking at you, how do you thank the one’s you love ?

By writing this blog I’m giving them thanks in my own special way.

DEAR MOM 

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You are not just my mom, you are my best friend and my human dairy.

Where do I even start by saying thank you ?

How about we start at the beginning …

Mom thank you for not only carrying me in your body for 7 months, but for carrying me through 22 years of emotional ups and downs. You are not just my mom but I am blessed enough to call you my best friend too. You know me better than anyone else does and ever will. YOU LOVE ME FOR ME, and for that I will always be grateful.

Thank you for teaching me that no matter what age you are, you can do anything if you put your mind to it. Thank you for being the best roll model anyone could ever ask for.

Thank you for always being there for me, and that you never give up on me.

Thank you for being the best mom ever !!

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DEAR DAD

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You are not just my dad, you are my superhero and air-balloon.

How do one say thank you for being accepted as your daughter from day one ?

I will never forget the day I met you … You and mommy were sitting around the table, I walked to mom and looked at you and greeted you, we spoke and than as young children do I noticed your phone and asked if I can play a game, you said yes. Lets just say from that day YOU WERE MY DAD.

Thank you for all the fun we have, and lets not forget the puny one’s. Thank you for being who you are and never changing. Thank you for the bond that we have.

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DEAR BROTHER

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You are not just my brother, you are my bro bear and honest adviser.

How do I say thank you to someone that has taught me so many valuable life lessons?

Thank you for always being there for me , even when I don’t want it. Thank you for always asking me if I’m okay. Thank you for helping me see things in a different ways.

Thank you for always loving me and giving me hugs when I need them. Thank you for always being honest with me when I ask you a question. Thank you for just being the most caring big brother any sister could ask for.

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DEAR FAMILY 

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We have been through some rough times, more than most people will ever know. We are the type of family that will go through hell and back, yet do anything for anyone.

We are givers and we believe in doing good every single day.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH !!

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Feeling like I’m boxed in 

Feeling like I’m boxed in 

Have you ever felt like you don’t know where to go anymore? As if no matter what you do is good enough anymore, and no matter how hard you try it just feels like you are a failure.
Well that’s how I’ve been feeling the last couple of days, yesterday was even worse than the other days. 

For me being boxed in doesn’t just mean that you are being placed in a box by society but being boxed in by yourself.

This came a reality to me when God revealed to me what my ministry is going to be, and since than I’ve been doubting myself a lot, even if it doesn’t look like it, I do.

You see I believe that once you know your purpose in life, the devil will try and make you feel unworthy, and like everything is a lie. So I have been placing myself in a little box.

I have always been a dreamer and an out of the box thinker, but for the last couple of months I’ve been holding back, like way back. I don’t think of myself as a dreamer anymore, I use to have so many ideas and dreams and things that I would like to achieve, and now I’m stuck. 

I’m stuck !! 

– I’m stuck in a work that’s currently making me unhappy.

– I’m stuck with people who think they know me, yet knows nothing about me, and judges me on how they think I am.

– I’m stuck with lies in my head telling me I’m not good enough.

Well that was me, until last night. 
I believe in the power of prayer, I was sitting in my room all alone in the presence of our savior. My heart was breaking, and I kept on asking Him way do I feel this way. I know you love me with all my flaws, yet I care what others say. 

These following words came to mind.

“You my dearest daughter are being placed in a box from the devil, he knows where your weaknesses lay, and he will tear you apart. You are more worthy than what you think, and you will make a difference. I need you to start believing again.”

This post is something that I had to do, since I need people to realize that we all go through this. 

I hope that this post can motivate YOU to not give up on your dreams, your thinking and who YOU are as a person!! 

Competing against others, is it really worth it??

Competing against others, is it really worth it??

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We live in a world where we compete with one another, we try to be better than the one next to us, girls compete to see who looks better, who dresses better and who can get the most likes or views.

We no longer live in a world where we see each other’s inner beauty, instead we look at the outer beauty and compare one another to the ‘law’ of beauty. Therefore we compete for the #1 spot.

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You see as I grew older I realized that competing against one another isn’t important, but in all honesty this took me 19 years to learn.

I use to compete against my friends, if it was in school work, I would try and do better than them in tests (now see that’s not so bad because you push yourself to better yourself), but then you get some people who will compete to rub it in other’s faces, and that is a no no. We don’t all excel in all subjects, some of us love mathematics while others love dramatic arts.

I used to compete with my friends when it comes to fashion, but looking back at old photos, what style !! I didn’t have any (working in the fashion industry now made me realize that). But yes I used to compete with style, I would try and look better than my friends and even than, I now realized, some of them just had the fashion bug, always on point.

Let me not get started on the selfie and instagram likes and follows. Ugh, cringe. I used to take so many selfies, thinking back I have no idea how I survived it. Take the best selfies, meant more likes and definitely more followers, but that never happened with me, my selfies would get likes, but my qoutes and inspirational sayings even more.

That’s when I realized that being myself is more important than any like, I mean I love writing and if that is what people like more than that’s what I’m going to do. Be myself.

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As I graduated from high school in 2013, and the chapter of adulthood started, that’s when I realized that competing with others isn’t necessary. Yes sure, there where times where I lost myself and still compared myself to some friends, but every time I did, I lost myself in the meantime. I’m not proud of it, but it’s human nature.

Last year, 2016, was the first year that I stopped comparing myself to others and started to focus on myself and building myself up. I also stopped competing against others, because in the end of the day I’m unique and I shouldn’t change that. Likes and followers isn’t important to me anymore. I want to be happy with me, and I don’t need other’s approval for that.

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We as women love to compete against one another, I know I’ve said this before but it’s true. I don’t understand why, we are all beautiful in our own way.

Some of us are tall and some of us are short. Some of us are blonde and some of us are brunette. Some of us have blue eyes while others have green or hazel eyes. Some of us are skinny and others curvy. The way we look shouldn’t  define us, it should inspire us to look out for one another.

So often we see guys rating girls from 1 – 10, from ugly to beautiful, and what do we do, we stand there and we let them “judge” our fellow sisters. Why do we not stand up for one another? We should!! We are all placed in different categories by people who don’t even know us personally but judge us by our outer beauty. Why is it that girls these days are seen on social media video kicking, slapping and swearing one another, why are we allowing this to happen to our fellow sisters ?

I have to say I’m disappointed. We don’t stand up for one another, we compete against one another and if we lose, we don’t even say congratulations to the winner.

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This is probably one of my favorite qoutes ever – girls compete women empower.

I believe that we are all beautiful, every single girl and women on this planet. It doesn’t matter what skin color you are, what size you are or how long your hair is, you are beautiful!!

Let’s stand together as women and start fighting for one another instead of against one another.

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Don’t let society place you in a box.

Don’t let society place you in a box.

We often lose ourselves in the world we live in. It’s probably one of the easiest things that we do, we see how ‘pretty’ one girl is and we start comparing ourselves to her.

Society has placed us in categories and getting out of there is one of the most difficult things to do. It’s easy to get categorized but getting out of there is difficult and that’s when we start changing  ourselves.

Yet that’s exactly the way we lose ourselves.

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We lose ourselves by thinking that when we think, walk, talk, act and dress like everyone else we will start finding ourselves. We are so focused as to what society wants that we start defining ourselves according to it.

We start believing that being born different is ‘uncool.’
We start changing the things that makes us unique.
We start changing our look, because the way we look doesn’t fit in with the ‘law’ of society.
We start thinking and believing the same way others do, because thinking outside the box is a no go.

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For the longest time I wanted to fit in. I wanted people to know who I am, I wanted them to know my name. It was so bad that it became my desire to fit in and as soon as that became my desire that’s when I lost myself.

Yet even when I tried to become the person who everyone will know,’ I never could, because that’s not who I am, I’m someone who loves doing things that is out of the ordinary, I love thinking different than everyone else, I love giving my opinion and I have my own type of style.

As soon as I started realizing that I’m not supposed to “fit the norm” that’s when I started to find myself.

I believe that we don’t lose ourselves to society’s thoughts of how to be willingly but rather because we are oblivious to it. Let me give you an example, you see, as little children we are taught that everyone has beauty inside and out, but when we get older and start seeing all the models on the cover of magazines, that’s when we start criticizing everyone on their outer beauty. That’s how the ‘law’ of beauty in society became a reality. Not because of models, but because everyone started to look at the outer beauty and stopped caring about the inner beauty.

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The real question is WHY ?

WHY change yourself ?
WHY worry what others think ?
WHY live a life where you are not happy ?
WHY care what society thinks or say ?

To be honest with you, these questions are hard to answer when you want to fit in.

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There are so many WHY’s we can ask ourselves, but there is only one WHY I want to live by.

WHY believe you are not good enough when God made you with His perfect hands.

God didn’t make you to change yourself for the world, in fact, He made you to change the world. He made you fearfully and wonderfully and you, my dear friend, are more worthy that what any human on this planet can make you out to be.

Be yourself, the ones that love you will stand by you for who you are, and the ones who are not for you, but against you, are not even worthy of your attention.

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Standing Up For What You Believe In !!

Standing Up For What You Believe In !!

There are two ways to look at this.

1.Standing up for what you believe in.
2.Believing in what you stand for.

Let me explain the difference.

1. Standing up for what you believe in – this is when you believe in something and you will do and say anything to defend your point of view, especially when it’s something you believe is worth fighting for.
2. Believing in what you stand for – this is when you believe in what you stand for, but standing up for it is difficult especially  when none of your peers have the same believes as you.

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This blog post idea came to me a couple of days ago when I realized even in 2017 we are still being judged for what we believe in. If it is standing up for God, gay rights, women rights, equality etc.

Now I’m not sure why this is still such a huge deal in 2017, but unfortunately it is.

I know what most of you are thinking, how can someone that’s 21 years of age stand up for what she believes in. In all honesty it doesn’t matter if you are 10 years old, when you believe in something than you should stand up for it even if no one is standing with you.

Standing alone might make you different, people will place you in a little box, people will force you to believe in what they believe, but let me tell you something God made us all different with different mind sets and different ways of thinking, no one has the authority to tell you that your way of thinking is wrong because, what makes their way of thinking right ?

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We all have different things we stand for, let me tell you mine. (feel free to tell me yours in the comment section)

  1.  I believe in God, yes I’m a Christian. I will stand up for this believe of mine as many times as I can. Yet at the same time I love thinking different about things. Firstly,  I don’t take the bible literally I take it figuratively ( I know I might get some hate for this, but it’s fine) Let me give you an example.
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    In this verse Jesus said “if you have faith as small as a mustard seed you can say to a mountain,’move from here to there’, and it will move”. Now taking this part literally will mean that if you even have the tiniest bit of faith you can move a mountain.
    For me personally this verse means by just having a little bit of faith, you can ‘Move mountains’ which means you can get over any obstacle given to you. Every heart break, every sad moment, every bad thing that has ever happened to you, you can conquer it. You see, we all think differently about everything, and even then God won’t judge me.
  2. I believe in gay rights.  Am I gay no, but do I accept it in society YES. Now I placed this one under my belief in God because I know this is what it always gets back to. I’ve been told so many times before by so many people that in the bible it is not acceptable for a man to be with a man and a women to be with a women, to be exact there are 12 scriptures in the bible that condemn this action, but there are 37 bible verses that tells us not to judge others.
    The bible tells us we are to confront others’ sin with truth, love and respect.The bible says – confront others – not judge them by their sins, and when we do decide to judge others on their sins, we need to look at our own before we can throw rocks.
    I’m not one to shy away from the truth and this is something I stand up for the most. I love gay people, I have gay family members as well as gay friends and I love them equally as much as I love my straight friends.

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  3. I believe in equality, gender equality. For a long time all over the world it was said men can do more things than women can, men work and women cook. Now that we are all over that statement and box that we have been placed in, you find women working machinery, men being cooks, women wearing pants and men working in fashion. For the people who still believe that women should be cooks and stay at home while the men go out and work WAKE UP  -it’s 2017.
    I know for a fact that I hate it when people tell me I can’t do a certain job because I’m a women, like -NO – I can do it, I will do it and I will prove you wrong.
    As for people being against males working in the fashion industry please WAKE UP it’s 2017, let take a look at Giorgio Armani the number 1 richest male fashion designer in the world who has 8 billion dollars in his bank, so while you are making fun of the guys who wants to be designers, Giorgio is smiling and guess what, those guys will also be smiling in a couple of years.
  4.  I believe in the anti bullying campaigns. Most of us usually say “I’m so against bullying” but than they go and bully someone. Let me just get something out the way – you get emotional and physical bullying. Emotional bullying is when someone makes you feel like you are not good enough, calls you names and tell you to kill yourself, where as physical bullying will be where you get kicked, slapped or bumped.
    This is one that I stand up for the most, why you might ask, because I have been a victim of emotional and physical bullying. People, especially younger people, need to realize that bullying isn’t just a funny thing to do just to be “in”. Unfortunately I know there are parents out there who also emotionally bully their children, parents need to realize what they do at home effects their children, and then their children will do the same to others. I stand up for this because I know how it changes people and how it hurts, stop bullying.

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    There are much more that I fight for in this world, but than you will be reading for days on end.

    Stand up for what you believe in even when you think it is silly – it’s not. Our beliefs and what we stand for is who we are, don’t change that for anyone.

 

Friendship Goals

Friendship Goals

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What does friendship mean to me ?

Personally friendship to me is like any other relationship, it’s a 2 way street.

You can’t expect a true and honest friendship, when you yourself can’t give them that.
A friendship isn’t a give and take, it’s both give and both take.
It’s not one gives 100% and the other one gives 50%, then what’s the point of a friendship.

It took me a really long time to accept that not everyone is going to be a friend to you the way you are a friend to them. As I said in my first blog (New Year) last year I lost a lot of friends, but I don’t regret losing them. I believe that some people come into your life for a season to help you grow and learn some life lessons, where as others are there for the rest of your life. #Lifetimefriends

I’ve been blessed to have not just 1 best friend but 4 best friends.

I know what most of you are thinking – 4 best friends, how is that possible. You see, we grow up believing that you can only have 1 best friend and a couple of friends, but as I grew older I realized that you can have more than just 1 best friend. People are different and to each best friend of mine I go to for different reasons, not everyone is going to give you good advice on everything.

I’ve been blessed to have 3 of my best friends longer that 5 years and 1 of them today a year and a day. Let me introduce my best friends (from 1 year to 18 years)

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This girl right here is Sarlah.

Sarlah and I met one another at a cell group, 1 year and a day ago. At first we didn’t speak to one another,because you know us girls. When we got over our stigmas we realized that we have more in common than we actually thought we would have.

This is a friendship I can truly say is a gift from God. I’ve been struggling to find a person I can be completely  myself with, no judgement no nothing. She is the one friend I know can cheer me up when I’m having a bad day.

To every girl out there stop looking at one another like “eeeew I can’t be friends with her” and just start talking you never know, she might just be your next best friend.

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This girl right here is Simoneimone and I met in high school ( Hoërskool Florida) when we were in grade 9, since then we have been best friends. Sometimes I think to myself how lucky I am to have a friend like her, not only has she been there for me from day one but she will always have my back.

This year we have been friends for 8 years. Not one day goes past where I don’t thank God for placing this human in my life.

Simone (Simi) thank you for being by my side.

BIANCA
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This girl right here is Bianca

Where do I start, this is difficult, not because of anything but because we have been friends for so long, to be exact 15 years, but best friends for 3 years.

Bianca and I met in pre-school, what a fun time, I still remember how we would swing on the big tire swings and build sandcastles. Bianca and I we were always friends, but never best friends, when High school ended that’s when we actually discovered that we are so alike, and 2014 is when she became one of my best friends.

Not only has she motivated me to be the best person I can be, but she has motivated me spiritually. This is a person that I’m so thankful for.

15 years of friendship and I will not replace it for anything.

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This girl right here is Anushke

18 years, not just friends but sisters…

I literally don’t even know where to start, Anushke and I met when we were young toddlers in pre-school, ever since then we were inseparable. We went to the same primary school, high school, we even played for the junior UJ hockey team together.

This amazing women taught me so much, taught me how to be brave. How to let go and move on. To smile even when you are broken inside. This person right here is the reason I believe in friendships.

To 18 years and counting …

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These 4 beautiful ladies inspire me so much, they are the reason that I believe in friendships.

I can live without friends, but I can’t live without my best friends.

You know what they say your vibe attracts your tribe, so choose carefully.


New Year

New Year

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As I sit here in my room on a hot summer night, looking at this picture of last years new years eve I can only start to smile (not smiling  because 2016 is gone and 2017 is starting), but smiling because this year has been one of my favorite years so far.

Yes I know what you are thinking, sitting there reading this, but it’s true. Did I have difficult times this year ? absolutely, but non the less this year as been a year of growth for me as well as my loved ones.

You see for you to understand this I will have to start from a couple of years back, lets say 2012 (the year the world was supposedly ending).

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You see this photo right here, well this is my family and I at my 21st birthday this year. I just need you to look at this photo and than read the story that’s following.

As I said let’s start at 2012 (I was 17), you see my brother next to me well he is 25 (2012 he was 22), and that’s when our world got turned around. You see as children his age now a days do, they go out clubbing, get drunk and get hooked on drugs (well that’s exactly what happened to him).

HE GOT HOOKED…

I’m not getting into all the soppy sad details of all the rehabs he had to go to, all the tears I had to see running down my moms face, all the tears I secretly had to hide because I had to stay strong for my mom and dad (well at least in my mind I had to). The years following up to now was pretty much the same, he got out of rehab, went back into rehab, tears tears and more tears.

As 2014 was starting to look up for us he decided to commit suicide, yes he actually did die and than got resuscitated, and even though he was still alive and a miracle we just couldn’t bare to look at him in that hospital bed. One of our worst years yet.

2015 started and well I was blessed enough to have gotten a promotion at work . 2015 was no different than 2014 because once again we had a dark cloud hanging on us, because for the second and third time my brother tried to commit suicide, but was unsuccessful.

But in the 2016 every changed for the best …

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2016 was a year where everything changed for me, yes sure as a family and with this economic changes happening in South Africa financially it wasn’t one of our best years.

But 2016 wasn’t about me and my family, it was about ME.

You see we as people tend to redirect all our attention to others, and we never focus on ourselves, but what happens when you start to focus a little bit more on yourself and a little bit less on everyone else.

For me it all started after my 21st birthday, when I realized that no matter what you do and how much effort you put into a friendship/relationship it will never be enough. You see last year I decided to break a friendship with one of my closes friends because I had enough of people taking advantage of me. One thing we should always remember, God never said love everyone else more than you love yourself, He said love everyone else as you would love yourself (Mark 12:30).

Last year wasn’t just letting go of people that’s not meant to be in my life (if it is for now or for ever) but it was also about getting out of my comfort zone, meeting new people and growing as a person.

2016 for me explained in one word is CONFUSING. Yet that doesn’t scare me, confusion happens when doors are being opened for you, when you are moving in the right direction.

2016 I would like to thank you for teaching me life lessons, for making my faith grow stronger and for making me see my imperfections as perfections in Gods eyes.

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2016 I started you with people that I love, and ended you with people that I love.

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2017 let’s get this year started !!

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